How Much Are You Worth?

Self-esteem's something that no one can really define.. It's just there, or it isn't. There are always a thousand people pulling you down, calling you names, making you feel like you're the worst thing on the earth for being the way you are - not slim enough, or tall enough, or buff enough, or clever enough to fit in to something. And however much we claim to grow out of it as we evolve as people, it never really happens. Some 'trivial' things just deepen - changing in adulthood to not earning enough, not having the greatest job in the world, not being married, the list goes on and on and on..
People who think they're insanely successful, have what they want and whatever they want, will go out of their way to make people who don't have those things feel like they don't matter at all.
It starts out in childhood.. when you're the one who's not part of the group playing in the park... and slowly segues into adolescence- when puberty hits you full swing as well..
A hundred people all around, judging by looks this time-"you're so ugly!" or "you're so fat", basically not good enough to fall into any category other than 'freak'. People calling you whatever names they feel like - 'fatty', 'idiot', thinking they can treat you any way they like. Being the only one who's not in a relationship because you're not 'attractive enough'. Attractive being the key word here, because it's defined by the people who think they are. The people who claim to be secure enough to define what beauty is are ultimately more insecure than the people who think they're unattractive.
It's kind of Utopian and idealistic to say everyone's attractive from the outside- but everyone is, from the inside- except the ones who think they're gorgeous from the outside.
People who are considered unattractive from the outside, maybe you are, and maybe you aren't. Just evolve from the inside- because in the end, that's what matters..Because, in the end, it's about you and you alone - not the popular girls in school, or the 'hot' guys .. it's just about you.
I made my peace with being ugly, and I'm much more secure after accepting it as a constant in my life- I know one thing that's permanent- and it gives me that much more ease with the rest of my life...