How do you feel when your love is unrequited and unreciprocated? Bad,of course, but there's a variety of emotions that run through your head at the time..why your love is unrequited..why nobody you love/like loves/likes you back..what they think of you..what other people think of you because you're like that..
Looking at other couples, you see their happiness and unfortunately it causes YOU sadness ..grief that someone else can be happy with one another and you never will..instead of happiness for whatever exists for them..
You begin to question yourself..you begin doubting yourself as a person, begin to think that there's everything in the world wrong with you, to have gone through that..you feel shattered..broken..thrown from the rooftops like a piece of glass that shatters into little pieces on impact..and it becomes increasingly difficult to patch it up again..over and over and over you try to repair the broken remains,but it becomes more and more meticulous and you give up..the tape' or 'glue' you use begins to rot..become old..doesn't work anymore..like the arguments in your own favor you keep coming up with so you'll feel better..that's your glue, your ointment..
I myself go through the problem continuously,day after day,time after time,and I pick up the pieces and try to move on..but every time am burdened by the number of pieces I lug along with me..because it happens doubtlessly EVERY time,even now..it's happening..and I feel the pain everyday..sometimes you have to make your own anaesthesia ..just try to be immune to what you're feeling,try to think about something else that made you happy once..read..or just write down what you feel..
I cry...THAT is my anaesthetic..my panacea...it numbs my pain...cry for as long as you feel you can cry..and when you stop..you'll realise you're much better..and the tears weren't really just water drops..but your grief and the blood from the wounds inside your heart,that have been washed out..it cleanses you..
Again and again I go through heartbreak..sometimes I'd like to quit..nothing ever seems to fit..walking around..some kind of lonely clown...and I DO feel awful..I feel like I'll never love again..but I just move on..with whatever pieces I have left..
And one day, I'll be ready..to meet the person who will help me patch the pieces up..and make it whole again...provide the missing pieces to the vast jigsaw puzzle that my life(and yours,and everybody else's) is....
think about it...